Random blathering on geekery, drunkenness, youth
One memory of my misspent youth(1) is of an english teacher of mine
asking me, "Which type geek are you?" Not in an especially flattering
way, mind, but in a sort of puzzling, quasi-argumentative way. I think
mainly he wanted to show off the knowledge that the word "geek" had a
long and storied, poultry-abusing connotation from the days of the
carnival sideshow. It was also the case that this teacher was not the
sharpest tool in the shed, and so it goes. But at any rate, at the time I was a socially maladjusted(2),
self-loathing, deviant sort of teenager(3) and took this only as a
sort of terrible slight, to which I believe I responded with a meager
combination of anger and sheer mortification. In the fullness of time
though, I have come to embrace this label, this "geek", to the point
where I actually am quite likely to respond to it as a name if called
out in my direction (and in fact, have done so). To the point where, I
recently learned, even under heavy intoxication, I proceed only to
become, if possible, MORE geeky, or at very least remain as geeky as
ever, rather than being in any way fundamentally changed by
intoxication. To wit, I have been known so far to expound on various
relatively esoteric concepts of computability theory(4), and to quote
from the Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock(5)(6) And on the one hand, I am completely at my peace with this. I find it
quite satisfying that I only become more myself when under the
influence of way too much alcohol. I apparently am much more
talkative, but I have yet to hear any report of my saying or doing
anything that I would necessarily classify as "not myself" and so
really I suppose that's all that matters. Having been, in college, the
sort of person who didn't drink, and typically instead would tend to
the drunk(7), I too often saw people do things which were not at all
like them and which they entirely regretted in the grim light of day.
I am pleased to not be that person. So, I say, huzzah to the geeks of the world, particularly those who
are, or at least have become, self-aware enough to embrace the label.
It's kind of becoming a bit of a "chic" thing, to be a geek, lately,
which is a bit worrying, but it's really the sort of thing you can
identify from a mile away if someone's faking it, so I'm not too
worried. It's sort of a strange thing, anyway, geek-ness. I mean it just leads
back to the fundamental backwardness of much of American society; in
which people who have actual knowledge or expertise are derided and
looked upon as somehow "elitist". Which is a topic I'm sure I'll get
into at a later time, but suffice to say that it worries me greatly
when I get it in my head to think about it. Which really is just all
the more reason to start drinking again... ---
(1) Which isn't to say my youth was misspent in any kind of fun or
misdemeanant way, quite the opposite, just that I sometimes wish I had
spent it differently.
(2) Or, to be slightly more correct, non-adjusted.
(3) Of course I have grown into a socially maladjusted, somewhat
self-deprecating and deviant sort of adult, so arguably not much has
changed.
(4) Specifically, for those interested, a bungled attempt at
explaining the Busy Beaver numbers, and the non-computability thereof,
and their status in the hierarchy of conception of very large numbers.
(5) Notably NOT introduced to me by the aforementioned English
teacher, but by a later, much better one.
(6) Of which I must also add that I am likely to do such quoting while
stone cold sober so this is perhaps not much of a surprise.
(7) Or at least, those drunken persons I liked. All the rest could go
to hell, as far as I was concerned.
asking me, "Which type geek are you?" Not in an especially flattering
way, mind, but in a sort of puzzling, quasi-argumentative way. I think
mainly he wanted to show off the knowledge that the word "geek" had a
long and storied, poultry-abusing connotation from the days of the
carnival sideshow. It was also the case that this teacher was not the
sharpest tool in the shed, and so it goes. But at any rate, at the time I was a socially maladjusted(2),
self-loathing, deviant sort of teenager(3) and took this only as a
sort of terrible slight, to which I believe I responded with a meager
combination of anger and sheer mortification. In the fullness of time
though, I have come to embrace this label, this "geek", to the point
where I actually am quite likely to respond to it as a name if called
out in my direction (and in fact, have done so). To the point where, I
recently learned, even under heavy intoxication, I proceed only to
become, if possible, MORE geeky, or at very least remain as geeky as
ever, rather than being in any way fundamentally changed by
intoxication. To wit, I have been known so far to expound on various
relatively esoteric concepts of computability theory(4), and to quote
from the Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock(5)(6) And on the one hand, I am completely at my peace with this. I find it
quite satisfying that I only become more myself when under the
influence of way too much alcohol. I apparently am much more
talkative, but I have yet to hear any report of my saying or doing
anything that I would necessarily classify as "not myself" and so
really I suppose that's all that matters. Having been, in college, the
sort of person who didn't drink, and typically instead would tend to
the drunk(7), I too often saw people do things which were not at all
like them and which they entirely regretted in the grim light of day.
I am pleased to not be that person. So, I say, huzzah to the geeks of the world, particularly those who
are, or at least have become, self-aware enough to embrace the label.
It's kind of becoming a bit of a "chic" thing, to be a geek, lately,
which is a bit worrying, but it's really the sort of thing you can
identify from a mile away if someone's faking it, so I'm not too
worried. It's sort of a strange thing, anyway, geek-ness. I mean it just leads
back to the fundamental backwardness of much of American society; in
which people who have actual knowledge or expertise are derided and
looked upon as somehow "elitist". Which is a topic I'm sure I'll get
into at a later time, but suffice to say that it worries me greatly
when I get it in my head to think about it. Which really is just all
the more reason to start drinking again... ---
(1) Which isn't to say my youth was misspent in any kind of fun or
misdemeanant way, quite the opposite, just that I sometimes wish I had
spent it differently.
(2) Or, to be slightly more correct, non-adjusted.
(3) Of course I have grown into a socially maladjusted, somewhat
self-deprecating and deviant sort of adult, so arguably not much has
changed.
(4) Specifically, for those interested, a bungled attempt at
explaining the Busy Beaver numbers, and the non-computability thereof,
and their status in the hierarchy of conception of very large numbers.
(5) Notably NOT introduced to me by the aforementioned English
teacher, but by a later, much better one.
(6) Of which I must also add that I am likely to do such quoting while
stone cold sober so this is perhaps not much of a surprise.
(7) Or at least, those drunken persons I liked. All the rest could go
to hell, as far as I was concerned.
